Handfastings

Many people I meet with ask me what I mean by "Handfastings." This term can mean different things to different people. Here are the three main definitions I've encountered as a minister:

A handfasting can refer to the folk tradition of a trial marriage lasting a year and a day. At that time a couple can choose to make their commitment permanent or part ways with no shame. I haven't encountered anyone who has asked me for this. Generally people come to me and ask for Commitment Ceremonies (without time restrictions) when they are looking to make a social commitment without involving the government.

Usually this term as used today refers to the custom of tying the bride and grooms' hands together (tying the knot) in addition to the ring exchange or in lieu of it. This seems to be very common in weddings incorporating Irish or Scottish elements.

Handfasting is also a term that works as a euphemism for Pagan wedding or a ceremony that includes many Pagan elements. I have ceremonies in my notebooks that range from a very subtle approach that will not offend Christian relatives to full Circle ceremonies with all of the trimmings. I'm willing to work with a couple's Priest and Priestess if they want help with the legal requirements but want to work with their usual Coven/Grove.